


Ocean Deep Feelings

by marbletexture



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 05:56:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8090095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marbletexture/pseuds/marbletexture
Summary: Kanata never thought that his dazed thoughts would nearly get him killed but thankfully Chiaki had came and saved him....





	

If there was anything Kanata didn’t know much about, it was love. A feeling so foreign and yet so warm to him. It was odd really, how he knew what it was and yet he didn’t. It was something so troublesome that even he didn’t know how to act upon it. The warm feeling clenched around his heart so warm and yet so painfully to the point where he felt like he was drowning in water of emotions that tried to drag him deeper and deeper down until he couldn’t breathe. 

The ones Kanata had his mind on lately? Kaoru. Chiaki. Kaoru and Chiaki. You could see his predicament here, couldn’t you? Loving two people at once while knowing one would never love you back while the other, well, actually he didn’t know about Chiaki. Chiaki was someone who was always on and on about heroes but never much for relationship talk except on occasion and this scared Kanata. What if Chiaki was like Kaoru and only loved girls? Would find it disgusting that Kanata loved him more than a friend? Than his unit leader? 

There were times that Kanata just wanted to end it all, ending this awful painful suffering he felt from the emotion called love. End it all how you ask? Simple really, there was always a simple solution for these things, right? Wrong? Right? No, wrong. A power struggle of emotions filling his mind and heart, one that clearly showed as he dazed out in the fountain, not realizing he had slipped under the water during this time causing his uniform to become even more soaked than it was, weighing him down even further as bubble from his lips rose to the surface.

It was only when he felt himself being lifted and shaken did he snap out of his stupor, coming to realize Chiaki’s worried face staring down intently at him at the aquatic loving boy took a moment to blink and then another moment to actually breathe and cough up the water that had entered his lungs during his time underneath the water.

“Kanata, are you okay?” That melodic voice reached his ears as a sort of buzz, signalling that he was still out of it and not properly back to reality, only trying to focus on the fact that he still felt like he was drowning despite being taken out of the water just moments ago.

Is this what being suffocated by love felt like? Warm, tender and yet so dangerous. Toxic, poison that filled his veins and replaced the blood that flowed through his body and ended up killing him from the inside out, slowly, ever so slowly to the point where he felt like he was walking on the thin string of life and death.

Oh just where did the time go while he was thinking? It was dark outside and he could still hear the faint buzzing noise of Chiaki trying to call out to him and then the feeling of warm hands enveloping his cold cheeks that forced him back to the world of earth, the world of reality and away from his hazardous thoughts that threatened to consume his life and drain him whole.

“Kanata! Kanata?! Oh thank heavens you’re here, I thought I lost you!” And now did Kanata realize that Chiaki had been crying, the tears pooling in the brunet’s eyes and dripping down right onto Kanata’s face, the way the warm tears slid down his smooth skin, the way it burned him as if it was fire and yet it felt… nice. So nice that he wanted to sleep in the warm embrace of Chiaki, feeling secure and warm, to make that toxic feeling go away. 

“Hey, Kanata, don’t fall asleep! Please, just stay awake, please…. I don’t want to lose you… When I saw you submerged like that, I thought you…. I thought…” Chiaki’s voice broke as he struggled to talk, the hot tears streaming down his cheeks and dripping onto Kanata’s cheek, causing the cyan boy to sluggishly open his eyes once more when they drooped down. After such a near death experience, it was only natural he was weak and exhausted but feeling the way Chiaki’s hands were shaking, the way they trembled and tightened against his cheeks showed just how scared Chiaki was about losing Kanata.

“Chiaki…. I… I am ‘okay’...” Kanata croaked out weakly, voice hoarse like he hadn’t used it for hours which could be true. Just how long had he been in the fountain for? His entire body felt cold, numb even and the sky above was dark and the only source of the light was the glowing moon that shone through the thin wisps of the clouds that floated on by through the sky. How long….. How long had he been in thought out here in the cold water of the fountain? He was still in his school uniform, with it soaking wet and clinging uncomfortably to his skin and a cold breeze whipped by, causing him to shiver. 

“Come on Kanata…. Just… Just stay awake a little longer, okay? I’ll take you back to my house so please, just, don’t sleep until I know you’re really okay…” Again, Chiaki’s voice sounded so far away to Kanata and he could feel his limp, numb body being lifted and his chest was met with the warmth of a broad back, arms slipping underneath his legs to keep him up. 

Ah, he was on Chiaki’s back. So warm, so warm…. He felt so sleepy, oh so sleepy he could just fall asleep. He wanted to oh so badly, his eyes was drooping, he felt so exhausted, drained even but he had to stay awake, just like Chiaki asked for him to do. He was struggling so hard to keep awake, slipping in and out of consciousness as the walk to Chiaki’s house felt like years to get to.

Kanata was only vaguely aware of being set down and stripped of his wet and cold clothes and being gently lowered into a warm bath, warming up his numb body and he felt oh so relaxed until he felt a gentle slap against his cheek, using what little strength he had to let his gaze look up to meet Chiaki’s worried eyes, such worried eyes that threatened to look like he was about to cry again.

The other boy’s face was slightly puffy and red, from having cried so hard earlier. It broke Kanata’s heart to see such an image. But right now he just felt so relaxed and tired, he wanted to keep sleeping. “Kanata!” The sudden yell of his name jolted him straight up, cerulean eyes widening and looking alarmed and he heard a faint sigh come from Chiaki. 

“I… I can’t let you sleep in the bath. It worries me when you fall asleep like that… I just…. I couldn’t think when I saw you earlier, so unmoving I thought you… Please don’t worry me like that!” Again, the trembling of his voice, the way his sentences didn’t finish. Kanata was only now letting the thoughts sink in that yes, he had almost just died right then and there in the fountain, and if Chiaki hadn’t found him, someone else would’ve in the morning. But by then, it would’ve been too late.

With this in mind, he slowly blinked and stared down at his hands, the warmth of the bath warming his cold body and he remembered how Chiaki’s tears felt like fire when it dripped onto his skin. A searing, hot fire that told many emotions and yet so little at the same time. His heart swelled, painfully, warmly-- he could feel everything at once and it hurt so much. It hurt to think and he couldn’t help but let out a choked sob escape, causing Chiaki to leap forward to wipe away those tears.

“Kanata? What’s wrong? Kanata, are you okay? Can you hear me?” The frantic worried voice of Chiaki sounded so faint and yet so close, the warm fingers brushing away his tears felt so foreign and he couldn’t help but let out a choked cry, reaching out to grasp onto Chiaki’s shoulder, sniffling and hiccuping.

“Chiaki…. Chiaki… I am ‘sorry’... I do not ‘know’ what is ‘wrong’ with me….” The words fell like a broken symphony from his lips, causing only confusion in Chiaki’s eyes as he wrapped his arms around the marine loving boy to lift him out of the tub and grabbing the towel to wrap it around Kanata, to dry him off and efficiently cover him up and warm.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about but… I really want to know Kanata, you’ve been really spacey these days, even more so than usual. You didn’t responded to me for nearly thirty minutes when I pulled you out of the water and I was… I was really worried you had… Anyways, I was relieved to still feel a pulse but you not responding had me even more worried!” Chiaki could only just bring Kanata into a reassuring hug, unsure what else to say as he heaved a shaky, breathy, sigh as he held the trembling boy in his arms.

“Sorry… Sorry… Sorry… I do not ‘deserve’ you…” Kanata mumbled into the other boy’s neck, fingers finding their way to grasping onto Chiaki’s shirt, like he needed to hang on for dear life and to him, it really did feel like he needed to otherwise everything would just slip away from him and into the darkness of his mind.

After that, everything had been a blur, he couldn’t remember what had happened after that and he took a moment to realize he was staring up at the ceiling, the weight of a thick warm blanket covering his body and the feeling of someone else next to him was painfully obvious. The soft breathing reached his ears in the silent room, the only noise that kept him grounded to earth and not the hazardous thoughts that plagued his mind.

Chiaki must’ve fell asleep next to him at some point when he had been out of it, so deep in thoughts he couldn’t remember if he had even eaten or if Chiaki had to feed him. When did he even get changed? He could smell Chiaki’s scent on this shirt he was wearing, he was so aware of it now. 

Was that the scent of chocolate? No. Coffee maybe? Coffee beans and cologne? What kind of cologne? It smelled sort of spicy, it smelled good. It filled his heart to the point it hurt, it hurt to know that Chiaki was doing all of this and Kanata still didn’t know if Chiaki loved him the way Kanata did. 

Love, the most heart warming, beautiful and joyful feeling and yet so poisonous, toxic, consuming all at the same time. Just what kind of emotion could make you feel like this all at once? Enough to nearly drive someone to insanity? 

Just what was love exactly? 

“Chiaki…. I know you are asleep but I want to ‘tell’ you something. I do not know ‘how’ to say this to you when you are ‘awake’ but… I ‘love’ you, more than a ‘friend’, more than the ‘leader’ of Ryuseitai. You, you are my ‘hero’. I ‘really’ love you,” And with this, Kanata turned on his side, head rustling softly against the pillow as his hair shifted to fall over his eyes and he heaved a heavy breath, letting his body finally relax, eyes shutting close to welcome sleep as exhaustion finally hit his body.

Several minutes later there was movement. Was it from Kanata? No, it was from Chiaki as he sat up, running his fingers through his hair as he looked down at the now sleeping Kanata, eyes watching as Kanata’s chest rose and fell evenly.

“Kanata…. You… Honestly, did you really think I would sleep knowing you were still awake? You worry me so much… So much to the point I can’t even think sometimes. I guess this hero will have to keep protecting you, and you can’t refuse my help…” Leaning down, he brushed away from strands from Kanata’s forehead long enough to let his lips rest there for a lingering kiss, hesitant to pull away but yet he did, gazing down before settling back down again, but this time allowing himself to scoot closer to Kanata and draping an arm over the other boy’s waist.

“Sweet dreams Kanata, I love you.”


End file.
